Starting Again (Even When It Feels Hard)

Tell me something—how many of you have done a fitness challenge before?

Did you do it to get into shape? To stay in shape? Or maybe because you were feeling a little blah and didn’t know what else to do?

A couple of years ago, I was doing really well. I was consistent with Beachbody workouts, made it through a few challenges, started running, and I quit smoking. I was genuinely taking better care of myself, and I felt proud of the progress I was making.

And then… I stopped.

For no clear reason, I got scared of my own progress and just quit. I quit showing up for myself. Part of me wonders if it was fear of failing—so instead of risking that, I quit first so I wouldn’t feel like I failed. It sounds ridiculous when I say it out loud, but honestly, that’s how it felt.

Even though I felt good when I was running or working out, I hadn’t given up alcohol at that point. If anything, my drinking increased. My anxiety was completely out of control. I’d work out during the day, then end my night with a bottle of wine and a bag of chips. Looking back, it didn’t make sense—but it was where I was at.

Fast forward to now.

I very rarely drink. I’m still smoke-free. My anxiety is manageable—nothing like it was before. Slowly but surely, my confidence is coming back. And I think I’m finally ready to return to running and working out… even though I hesitate every single time.

I tell myself I don’t have time. Or that I’ll do it later. Or that I’ll just finish a few more things first. And almost every time, my workout gets pushed to the back burner.

I have made some progress. I walk on my walking pad while I work most days, and sometimes I run on my treadmill. But I also know my nutrition isn’t where it should be. After a couple of days of effort, I’m exhausted—and that’s usually where things start to unravel.

One of my biggest struggles is believing I can just jump right back into where I was two years ago. I can’t. It took time to get there. And another thing that holds me back is frustration—being annoyed with myself for stopping and feeling like I’m almost back at the beginning.

Those are the thoughts I wrestle with.

I’m slowly retraining my brain to understand that I can’t live in the past. That chapter was a learning experience, not a failure.

Every year, my girlfriend and I go to a half marathon weekend. This will be our third year. Last year, we didn’t even run it—we didn’t train properly—but it was still a nice weekend away. That said, it’s not something I want to repeat.

I want to run it—and run it well.

My first year, I finished the half marathon in 3 hours and 15 minutes. My goal for 2026 is 2 hours and 30 minutes. That’s my focus.

To get there, I’m creating a clean eating plan, a simple strength-training routine, and a realistic running plan. Nothing extreme. Nothing overwhelming. Just consistent and doable.

I’ll be sharing everything I decide to do on my Instagram and Facebook pages. And if anyone wants to join me, send me an email. Maybe a challenge is in order—especially if you’re a little competitive 😉

One thing I’ve realized is that motivation doesn’t always show up. Sometimes you don’t want to do it at all—but you do it anyway. That’s something I struggle with. I imagine that’s when you truly start showing up for yourself, instead of feeling disappointed or frustrated when you skip another workout.

I use the Finch app to help me stay consistent with things like personal hygiene and drinking water, but it hasn’t quite clicked for workouts yet. I think I need to get clearer on why I’m doing this. What am I working toward? What are my goals?

Goal setting has never been easy for me—but I’m excited to try.

I was going to wait until January 1, 2026 to start… but I don’t think I will.

I think I’m going to start sooner than that.

Because waiting hasn’t gotten me anywhere—and starting, even imperfectly, feels like the right next step.

Who has used the Clever Fox Fitness & Food Journal? It has great reviews! Is it worth it? https://amzn.to/4ayjKWD

A Gentle Invitation

If this story feels familiar—if you’ve stopped and started more times than you can count—you’re not alone. I’ll be sharing my journey, my plans, and the small habits I’m building along the way over on Instagram and Facebook.

If you’d like to follow along, cheer each other on, or even join in when I share challenges and updates, I’d truly love to have you there. And if you’re feeling brave and want to walk (or run) alongside me, send me an email.

You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to start—exactly where you are